


Recounting

by zeeazn5525



Series: Recount [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Characters based off friends, Dream-inspired, F/M, Gen, In a weird way it's fanfiction, Minor Descriptions of Gore, Swearing, Walking a thin line with this one, Zombie Apocalypse, implied minor character death, old story, why is swearing always the first tag I think of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-12
Updated: 2013-07-12
Packaged: 2018-03-04 22:47:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3095180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeeazn5525/pseuds/zeeazn5525
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(A story I wrote a while back detailing a particularly vivid dream)</p><p>At one point or another, every young adult has wondered how a zombie apocalypse would play out. Some would go to sleep shivering at the thought, and wake up screaming from the night terrors. Others would spend hours drawing up plans and preparing for the possibility of having a thrilling adventure with their friends. </p><p>For Elisa and her friends, they mostly belonged in the latter group. So it was only after the zombies they prayed for finally showed up that they found out how terribly wrong they were.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Recounting

**Author's Note:**

> I had a pretty intense nightmare and decided to write a long ass story about it. It accidentally started a whole series I'm still working on. (Things might not feel as realistic as possible, this part, I tried to stick as close to the dream as possible)
> 
> I don't enjoy generic character descriptions, so you'll probably rarely see them. Especially since this one is based off people I saw every day at the time. But as newer characters are introduced, you'll get little tidbits. Hopefully it's enough for piecing together your own image of what these characters look like.
> 
> (This piece is due for a re-edit, will probably do that within the week, actually.)

August 27th. It was a beautiful day like any other. Birds were chirping while the wind blew lightly through the tree branches in the late summer evening. As a summer baby, the surrounding weather made me feel at home with nature. I checked the time on my cellphone before I shoved it in my pocket: 8:36. _I should probably be heading home soon but...just a little longer._ With that thought, I hopped on a swing and enjoyed the sound of nature above me as I swung higher and higher, each creak, squeal and rattle of the chains keeping in discordant rhythm.

I started humming a little tune - Pony by Erin McCarley, to be exact - while watching the cars drive by on my left. I began singing the words as I turned my focus back to my dangling legs drawing in and out at various altitudes. My singing was short lived as I caught someone walking down the road from the corner of my left eye. I immediately stopped singing because it was extremely embarrassing in public. Most people that sing in public have amazing voices and I honestly don't think I'm talented enough for anyone to hear. Sometimes in the shower, I am persuaded otherwise, though I'm pretty sure showers have magical powers to make anyone sound good to themselves. But, back to the person on the road.

From far away he looked like a nice gentleman, though he seemed to have a heavy limp. I kept swinging, unsure if it was a good idea to get off and help him. _He's not screaming or even calling out for help, he should be fine,_ I reasoned. _I should still see if he's okay though, I mean, it's not normal to be limping that much._ Then my imagination took off without me.  _But what if he's a rapist? What if it's all his ploy to lure his prey in?_ I was so lost in thought that I didn't even notice that he had progressed to the edge of the park, only about 10 meters away from me.

I don't know why it took me so long to recognize the symptoms and realize that he wasn't actually alive, per say. Perhaps it was because I was always reluctant to believe that a zombie outbreak would be a possibility in this world. Or perhaps it was because TV and media had me believing that the outbreak would start in loud crashes and chaos. But it was too peaceful, there in the park, swinging with the tweeting birds and dancing trees. When I think about it, the swings saved me. When I finally wrapped my head around it, he was only a few feet away. Logically, I should have died for my slow reactions...but I didn't. _Shit, what do I do?_ I put all my energy into swinging myself up to the higher playing field, giving myself time to think. I looked around for possible weapons, but there were only a few feeble branches scattered around the playground. _I could...throw pebbles at him? No, that's a terrible idea. What about...jump on him?_ I pulled my legs in to avoid hitting him just yet.  _Okay, how do I do this?_

As he drew much closer, I gave myself one last swing back, swung my legs out like a hammer, and kicked him in the head with full force. The contact made a squishy sound, which was quite gross. _Thank God he's a short fellow_. He was still "alive", though helpless for the moment - much like an overturned turtle. His groans became clear, calling out for help. _Now you ask for help?_ I pulled back on the chains to give me more momentum and a higher point of release. I jumped off the swing, landing straight on his head, bashing it in. I refused to look down at the body, I never wanted to see death. I knew he was dead because there were no more groans, just silence. All the commotion sent the beautiful birds flying. The air was suddenly dry and I felt lost and alone, nature no longer wrapped its safety around me.

I snapped back to attention when I heard more groans coming down the road. Shit shit shit. I started to make a run up a small incline towards my friend's house as I pulled out my cellphone and dialed his number. .... _dooooo.._.. _Come on, pick up. .....dooooo..... Pick up!! .....dooooo.....Pick up you assh--_  "Hello?"

"Hey dude, open your door. Zombies." I sounded a lot calmer than I expected.

"...Wha?"

"ZOMBIES, I'M OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR, OPEN UP." _There's the panic_. He remained silent for a while. I had made enough distance between myself and the closest zombie to slow down a bit. I took the phone from my ear to make sure the call hadn't dropped. It was still going. I put my phone back up to my ear and waited for a reply. "You still there?"

"Yo." Down the street, a door creaked open.

"Well, I'll talk to you soon," I said as I hung up and made a dash for the door. I rushed in and slammed it shut, which in hindsight, probably attracted more zombies than needed. I gave him a hug which he slightly shied away from, then told him about the events of the past 5 minutes. As I told the story, I watched his eyes grow wider in excitement. The idea of a zombie outbreak delighted him.

"Bonehead! I'm being serious here," I said with a weak pout. His name was Bone Saw, though originally a nickname, he introduced himself as 'Bone Saw' so often that it became more of a name than his actual one. He never told me what his real name was, or why his nickname was Bone Saw. Every time I asked, he would just say, "It's an Internet thing." So I made my own alterations and called him 'Bonehead' instead. After all, he was a really stubborn person.

"I'm serious. This is going to be awweesoome!" He yelled in the way he does, while wearing a goofy grin. "I knew it was going to happen!" he cheered as he pranced up the stairs into his room. I took off my bloody shoes and followed slowly behind him. _At least I'm safe in this house. And of all the people I know, Bonehead's probably the most prepared for this...so I guess I'm pretty lucky, huh?_

"Hey, do you have a phone I could use?" I looked down at my cellphone - two bars of battery left.

"Yeah, here." He handed me his home phone while he looked out the window for signs of zombies.

"Thanks," I said as I turned my cell phone off to conserve battery. My first call went back home.

"Hello?" my mom answered on the other side.

"Hi 妈。 我现在在Bone Saw家。 我有可能一时半会儿回不来了。外面有僵尸，你们得小心一点，自己保重。" (Hi mom, I'm at Bone Saw's house right now. I probably won't be able to get home soon. There's zombies outside, you guys need to be extra careful.)

"你在说什么乱七八糟啊？ 快回家！" (What are you talking about? Come home right now!)

Then she hung up. "WAIT!" I shouted, but it was too late. Determined, I called again.

"Hello?"

"妈！你听着。外面真的太危险了。你们要都在一起，把门锁好。过一会儿，让爸爸开着车，带着武器去找一些吃的。要是碰到僵尸，千万要砸头，出的声音越小越 好。就信我这一次，好吗？" (Mom! Listen. It's too dangerous outside. You guys need to stay together, make sure all the doors are locked. After a while, maybe get dad to drive out with a weapon and get some food. If you come across a zombie, remember to target the head and make as little noise as possible. Just trust me this once, okay?) I knew they weren't prepared for this, they weren't the type to believe in this stuff. I wasn't prepared either, but I could only come up with so much knowledge from games and shows...who knew how much of it was actually true?

There was a long silence. The phone basically _radiated_ disbelief. So I added, "去看看外面" (Go look outside.) I heard footsteps and half a gasp.

"。。。好。。。好吧。 你好好保重哦。早点回家。" (...oh...okay. You take care of yourself. Get home soon.)

"Okay."

"那一会儿见." (Alright, see you soon)

"嗯，一会儿就见." (Mhm, see you soon) That's when I knew that either me or her, one of us would not be alive the next time we met. It was a stupid superstition I had, that if someone told me see you ______, then there was a big chance that something bad would happen between that time. If I returned it with the same comment, it was sure that one of us would be dead before the next meeting. I kicked myself for saying it. It may have eased her mind, but it unhinged mine.

"Byebye," she said into the phone, voice strong and determined.

"Bye..." I trailed off, voice wavering while trying to decide if I should say it. I took a deep breath. "I lo-" I was cut short by a small click, then dead silence as I completed "-ve you guys.." to inattentive air. I tried to hold back fearful tears but a few drops escaped. I wiped them up before Bonehead saw. It always made him freeze up, and that's not what I could afford at the moment. He was still fixated on the window as I leaned on his closet door. I sniffled and straightened up. _Come on. Don't be a pessimistic wuss_.

I then called my second family, Iago. From what I knew, both Zoe and Norie were with him. He picked up almost immediately.

"Hey Bone, what's up?"

"Uhh..not Bone. It's Elisa."

"Oh hey sis, sup? Why're you on Bone's phone?" We weren't actually family, but our friend group was close enough to consider a second family; Iago and I treated each other like siblings.

"Trying to conserve battery. But uh, are Zoe and Norie with you?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Good, just locating them. I came across a few zombie a while ago, so I'm hiding out at Bonehead's. Calling to see if you have a plan."

"Uh..maybe. I don't know. Do you have anything in mind?"

"Not really. Here, talk to Bonehead." I handed the phone to Bonehead, who finally spotted enough zombies to confirm this was actually happening. He sat down on the bed. I let them talk things over while I sat down next to Bonehead, leaning my head on his shoulder to listen. Very quickly, their words started to blur and I heard only bits and pieces...excited...I know...supply...energy...school...cold...bring...Alaska...I didn't remember much after that.

I woke up when Bonehead jerked his shoulder, which dug into my cheek.

"Ow!" I scowled at him.

"Wake up. We should get going soon." It took me some time to register his words, then I was completely awake.

"Wait what? Where are we going? How long was I sleeping?"

"You've been sleeping for 5 years, my shoulder's sooooo sore," he fakely complained while stretching his arms.

"What. How?"

He laughed strangely hysterically at my reaction, his laugh always so distinctly funny that I started laughing a little too. "You've been asleep for about 5 minutes, I just got off the phone," he said as he held the phone up. "We're going to meet up midway between my house and Iago's, then head off to Alaska, as I've always planned." He chucked the phone at me. I tried to catch it but changed my mind midway and let it fall on the bed. "I'm going to go say bye to my parents." He then walked out before I could even form a reply. _How can he just so casually say goodbye to his loved ones? Aren't they coming with us?_

I shook the questions from my head as I dialed another number.

"Hello?"

"Hey Gabriella, it's Elisa."

"Oh HIII!!!" I loved how high energy she always was.

"Listen, I don't know what you're doing right now, but I just saw a few zombies on the street, so I wanted to tell you to be careful, also that we're goi-" I was interrupted by a slew of crashes outside. "Just sec," I told her as I went to look out the window. A car had slammed right into a telephone pole. Nearby, a small crowd of zombies started forming as they limped towards the car. I went back to my phone call. "As I was saying...Hello?" My brain finally connected the dots. The phone lines were dead. _At least she knows there's zombies right now. She's strong, and she probably wouldn't have left her family to come with us anyways...they're important to her._ I believed in her will to survive.

_It's a shame I didn't get to call Sam and see how she's doing, or even give her a warning. It'll be much harder for her to get to us. Maybe we'll just go get her together. Or maybe we'll meet her in Alaska. She's pretty prepared for the zombie apocalypse too, she should have the same ideas as Bonehead._

Right on cue, Bonehead walked in.

"Hey Bonehead?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we stop by my house since it's midway anyways?"

"Sure, I guess that wouldn't do any harm. We have to move quickly though."

"Alright, let's go then!"

 

* * *

 

I hoped with every fiber of my body that I wasn't right. Yet it seemed like I was always right about the bad things. _Just my luck_. It looked like my neighbours had a zombie plan too. The glass door was broken, the drawers in the kitchen were open and obviously rummaged through. A few walkers limped around inside, unaware of Bonehead and I. I walked toward the door and Bonehead tugged on my arm. I looked back at him, though I couldn't see through the film of water collecting in my eyes.

"What?" I whispered, slightly annoyed that he grabbed me.

"We can't go in there."

"But-"

"We're not going in there!" he strained, teeth gritted, trying not to talk above a whisper.

"What if they're still in there?"

"They probably are, and they probably want to keep us there too."

"But I..."

"Look, it's for the best okay? I don't want to shoot a gun until absolutely necessary."

I didn't say anything after that. I let him pull me along to our meeting spot. _I didn't even get to let them know...I didn't even get to find a true family in them_. Strangely, I didn't cry. I'm not a loud crier, so it wouldn't have drawn any attention. But I couldn't cry. _I'm a strong girl_. _That's what they've taught me all along._  

We arrived at the meeting spot 5 minutes later. They were hiding around a corner while people looted the store. Idled cars lined the streets, few in mint condition, most in a...crispy state. We stayed behind the bushes while waiting for the looters to leave - Bonehead monitoring their motion, while I kept watch behind us. One thing that I was starting to learn was that you couldn't afford to be sidetracked, not even for a second. It helped with the grieving process - you didn't have time to think about the death overtaking your life, only time to think about preventing your own death.

Bonehead gave me the clear, so we ventured out to meet the others. It was a relief to see familiar faces. They seemed to be a little weathered already, probably because the trip was literally an uphill battle. The boys greeted each other while I ran towards Zoe and Norie, hugging them both. We then discussed if we were to go get Gabriella and Sam. We decided to take a chance and make that detour before heading north.

 

* * *

 

September 17th. I turned my cellphone back off. The battery had sunk down to one bar, even though all I used it for was to keep track of time. When there's no regulation as to when we eat or sleep, there was no sense of the time passed. Only 3 weeks in, but it felt like we were wandering the wasteland of broken societies for months on end. We found Gabriella on our detour, she said she planned to travel with her family, they were planning to jack an RV to head out to the countryside. We gave her hugs and wished her good luck.

"If things go sour, meet us in Alaska, kay?" It was never a bad idea to have a backup plan.

"Okay!" she replied, the situation didn't seem to even phase her. She was still so positive and giddy.

"Alright, good luck. We'll meet again someday," I said with a weak smile. My gut churned at the thought of _someday_.

Sam wasn't there when we got to her house. Her house hadn't been raided, which was quite surprising. But her house was quite hidden away to people that didn't know the place well. We raided her kitchen for any non-perishables or any sign of where she went. We found a few cans of fruit and a can of SPAM.

"Sweet," Bonehead breathed. He quite enjoyed SPAM, even before this apocalypse thing started. Everyone else was just excited to get meat. _Thanks, Sam._ I smiled to no one in particular, but I hoped she would receive my gratefulness. I had an inexplicable urge to eat ice cream since leaving Bonehead's house, so without thinking, I opened the freezer. Oddly enough, there was a container of ice cream sitting there, as if it was there waiting for me to devour all along. I opened the container to find a note. Not going to lie, I was kind of disappointed. Still, I called to the others, "I FOUND A NOTE!". They quickly crowded around me as I unfolded the note.

'I headed out to massacre some zombies, see you guys in Alaska! -Sam'

Man, she did not disappoint. But once again, the stupid superstition showed itself. _Just be extra mindful of danger_..

 

* * *

 

Zoe and Iago walked together, hand in hand, leading us. They had been dating for years now. They were the most self-conscious couple, but also super fitting. There was the right amount of PDA, and whatever they did behind closed doors wasn't any of my business. But the apocalyptic situation struck everyone the same way, everyone was stripped of their privacy, everyone loved like there was no tomorrow. It was most evident in those two, and I was really glad they were there to spread love and hope in a bleak time.

Norina-Amelia and Bone Saw walked together, animatedly conversing about all the strange topics of the world. Those conversations brought me back to the old times, when nonsensical subjects were thrown back and forth on Facebook. I always found Norina-Amelia's name to be too long, and called her Norie instead. Bonehead however, preferred to call her by her full name. "It's only polite that way," he told me when I asked why.

I walked in the very back, keeping my eyes and ears out for attacks. We walked in a carefree manner, the same way we would during warm summer evenings, back when we had less worries. My back breathed at the sensation of being straight, rather than hunched over to avoid being seen. I could smell the death and rotting flesh on the streets and controlled my breathing to avoid gagging. Instead, I tried to focus on my other senses and thoughts. Watching the four in front of me, I was super grateful they were still here with me.

_It's September...I should be in school right now. I should be eating the simple, bland lunches that my dad packed me every day. I should be stressing over a math test and studying. I should be waiting for the day to end so I can hang out with friends without a care in the world. I should be waiting to go home and eat from the cupboard full of food. I should be hugging my brother and listening to his Pokemon game...I should be seated to a home cooked meal, with everyone I love around the table...I should have told them I loved them...I should..._

I was suddenly aware that I was taking in large gulps of air. I had walked right into Bonehead and Norie, so out of it that I didn't notice they all stopped to look back at me with concern.

"You okay?" Iago and Zoe asked in unison.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I choked out while trying to regulate my breathing. I felt like puking more than ever. So much death made me sicker than I'd ever been. I didn't want any of this.

Norie stayed behind with me as Bonehead ran up to join the couple.

"You're sure you're alright?" Norie asked quizzically, obviously not satisfied with "I'm fine."

"Yeah...Just, I wish this wasn't happening."

"Don't we all..." she trailed off as we walked in silence, sharing the unpleasant, unspoken thoughts.

Our thoughts were interrupted by a loud clank of metal and a myriad of groans. Bonehead had stepped on a bloody piece of scrap metal. Most of the groans came from the front and right of us. We all made a dash for it. Norie, Iago and Bonehead managed to pull ahead, each running into separate streets and alleyways. I didn't know where I was going, just that I had to run until I couldn't hear the groans anymore. I ran until my heartbeat drowned out the groans from behind. Then I stopped to listen for zombies.

Nothing. Good. The relief only lasted a few seconds before panic returned. I was all alone. I thought Zoe had followed me when I ran, but I guess she took an alternate route. I didn't know where I was or where to go. _Shit. Think Elisa, think!_ I racked through all my hazy memories for any clues as to where I should go from here. I then recalled a conversation we had at Gabriella's place.

"If the world were exciting enough for a zombie apocalypse happen, we just have to get to higher ground and find shelter first...And if we ever get separated, go to the nearest McDick's. Easy to find, just look for the yellow M and fat people!" someone had said with such enthusiasm that made everyone in the room crack up in laughter. _McDonald's! That's it!_ I climbed up the balcony of the building next to me. I then jumped up on the rooftop to get a better view of my surroundings. When I looked down on the other side of the building, I saw Iago.

"Hey Iago," I whispered as loud as possible. He looked up, startled by the sudden noise. "Do you know where we are right now?" I asked since I caught his attention.

"Yeah, I do. Get down here," he "whispered" back. His whispers were always way too loud to be considered whispers. They rivaled my normal voice.

"Kay," I replied as I jumped back onto the balcony.

When I got down, I gave him a quick hug and we discussed our next move.

"Thank God you're safe. Are we going to McDonald's?" I asked before giggling to myself. It just seemed like such an absurd question to ask.

"Yeah, we've discussed this before," he said with a chuckle of his own.

"Well, let's go then!" I gave him a poke before stepping out in front of him. I then realized I had no idea which way I was going, and turned around to see him walking the other way. I took a few quick steps to catch up to him as we walked in silence. Suddenly, a crack broke the silence as I stepped on a crunchy leaf. _Shit_. Iago set off in a sprint and I followed as close behind as I could, determined not to get lost again this time. McDonald's pulled into view as we rounded a corner. We hid behind a bush to observe the restaurant's condition. It was a tarnished wreck. The undead littered the area, shuffling around pieces of unfinished food - still looking like they were made just 2 days ago, which was a little concerning. I squinted as I tried to get a better look at the crucial details. There were 3 zombies in front of the door, while there was one crouched over a body by the drive through. I tapped Iago on the shoulder and pointed to the drive through door. He nodded, signalling that it was as clear as it was going to get. I then tried to predict the situation of the interior of the restaurant. Looking at the broken planks on the door, it seemed like others had previously tried to hide there, but gave up on it. Maybe one of them became the drive through body.

Before we could make any decisions, a high-pitched scream echoed towards us. All the zombies around us started moving away from the restaurant, towards the high-rise buildings 6 blocks away. The scream was clearly female, throwing Iago straight into panic.

"Shit. What if that was Zoe?" he whispered frantically. His eyes were wide open as he swallowed frantically.

"I don't think she went that way," I replied with as little panic in my voice as possible. I honestly didn't think she went that way. _And she would know to come to McDonald's, right? Right?!_ _She wouldn't be going in that direction..._

"I need to make sure. I'm going out," Iago barely finished before running out of the bushes.

"Wait - " I tried to call him back, but right as I stood up, he ran smack dab into Zoe.

"Oh Thank God!" Iago pulled Zoe in tight, first whispering his relief into her shoulder, then peppering her neck and ear with tiny kisses.

Behind her stood Bonehead, arms drooping, panting with a bloody knife in his hand.

"I'm so glad to see you guys, I was hoping -- Where's Norie?" I said as relief quickly swept back into panic.

"I...have no...idea..." Bonehead said between breaths.

Iago stood up straight, pulling away from Zoe, as if he had just had an epiphany. "Does that mean...?" He didn't have to complete the question. We all knew what that meant. That scream was the end of our dear friend. She managed to help us, with her life.

We ventured into McDonald's, a new death settling in our minds. Inside, they tapped at machines in hopes of leftover pop. They managed to find a few bottles of water and a bottle of Pepsi. That pleased Bonehead. I sat down at a booth while they rummaged, the fresh death too much for my body to take. I choked on air as I lay my head on the table, the sick feeling creeping back over me. The apocalypse didn't seem to affect the others as much emotionally as it did Norie and I, and now with her gone...I was alone with no one to understand this sick feeling. Perhaps it was because she was only visiting that she knew that there was a slim chance for her to ever see her family again. Perhaps it was the strangeness of her surroundings that ultimately led to her demise. _I never even thought about the conversation of our meeting spot until I was absolutely lost. How could she have known where to go? How could we have been so stupid to not have mentioned this plan even once? Fuck. Fuck my own stupidity. We could have avoided this...Why is this happening? Why..._

With that, I finally broke down in tears.

 

* * *

 

October 2nd. My phone battery finally gave out. From here on out, I'll slowly lose my concept of time. I chucked the pink phone far into the distance. _Goodbye pre-apocalyptic civilization._ The phone had served me a great amount of years. It still stored a few pictures of the good days. Ever since Norie's death, I had pulled my phone out to briefly sift through the precious pictures, especially the ones from our Easter sleepover. Norie using Gabriella's hair as a moustache, the attractive faces Sam made while wearing the silly sunglasses Zoe gave me. Then there were pictures from shopping with Zoe and Iago, visiting kittens at Sam's house with Bonehead, of Iago clad in his pink halloween costume, of Gabriella wearing her hoodie like an Eskimo one day after summer school. All these events seemed to have occurred in a different life. A life where the lack of food and fight for survival was never a nagging need in the back of one's head. It never crossed our minds. We sat and hoped for a zombie apocalypse to come, and now that it's here, I don't know how much more I can take. I wasn't one to be eager to shower on lazy winter nights, but what I wouldn't give to feel warm water on my skin, cleansing me of all the evil I have seen.

At 5 weeks, I would have expected us to be in Alaska already...it couldn't be that far, right? But early on, we discovered walking along the highways weren't a sound plan, so we had to cut through shrubbery to provide ourselves with enough camouflage from enemies. At this point, zombies were the least of our concern. We had been heading into more isolated parts of the province - territory of skilled hunters. Every zombie we came across were already dead for good. As Bonehead brushed away some giant branches of an evergreen, we saw a cabin in a clearing. It was in poor condition, but nothing we weren't accustomed to by now. It didn't seem like anyone was inside, but we wanted to make sure we weren't going to run into the lucky zombie who survived the massacre we discovered a mile back.

"One of us needs to go check it out," Iago said, stating the obvious.

"Kay," I whispered, "I'm going to go take a peek through that window. I need someone to come with me to spot me."

Zoe put her hand up and gave me an affirmative nod.

"Alright, Iago and I will take the two corner of the clearing, just in case," Bonehead offered.

"What gentlemen," I teased, the entire group sharing in a long lost chuckle. I then put my hand in, hoping to initiate a movie moment. Though just a silly, small task, it was fun to pretend it was a giant FBI operation. It seemed to make everyone more mindful of their surroundings too. Everyone else joined in, and I whisper-yelled, "Three, Two, One, GO!" as we put our hands up. Bonehead gave a small 'Good luck everyone!' and set off in a crouched jog with me to our respective places. Zoe and Iago gave each other a brief kiss, whispering an 'I love you' as they did every time they separated.

As Zoe pulled into place, she gave me a confident nod as she aimed her gun at the window. _She looks fucking badass, and I thought she looked good for grad. This Zoe could kick grad Zoe's ass in 2 seconds._ I let the stray thought amuse me a little before straightening back up to creep a look in the window. Positively empty. There was a pile of broken china where I assumed once stood a grand collection of sparkling plates. The place was dusty, with a kettle still on the stove. Something didn't seem quite right though. I scanned the place once more...dust...dust...more dust...wooden chair...wooden table..Then I stopped upon something. Something behind the door. I glanced back up at the broken china collection. _No way. That wasn't._ Suddenly, something swished past me on my left. A chill ran down my spine as I slowly panned my eyes to the left. A roughly hand crafted arrow lodged itself into the cabin. I looked back to find an empty patch of grass where Zoe once crouched. I finally came to my senses and ducked around the corner of the cabin. I found Zoe there.

"Shit. What do we do?" I asked Zoe, who seemed just as clueless. _We planned for people inside, we planned for people on the outskirts of the clearing, but we never planned for people with **arrows**. Who still uses arrows?!_

"I don't know..." Her eyes darted towards Iago's corner, hoping he would have any signals to share. I didn't bother since signalling me was just a waste of time, I sucked at charades.

"What's he saying?" I asked tentatively.

"He says he can hear them shouting."

"But we can't so they're still sort of far?"

"Exactly. So we'll have a good chance if we make a run for Bone Saw's corner right now."

"Shit, well let's go then!" I told her just as Iago started to make a run towards Bonehead.

I completely forgot what I saw while inspecting the cabin. But it hit me in painful realization as I staggered onto the ground, a sharp pain digging into the back of my right calf. "Shit!" I yelled instinctively. I didn't have a weapon, but that sure drew enough attention to myself. Bonehead stopped in his tracks. Iago sent me a flicker of concern. Zoe pulled out her gun, turned and shot at the cabin window in one swift movement. The resulting splatter of blood indicated one less threat for us. Zoe ran over to give me a hand, smile warm on her face.

"Hey you o-" What happened afterward, happened all in a blur. Her expression twisted into one of pain, and the once welcoming hand became her only support on the ground next to me. I was vaguely aware of someone screaming in the background, then a rain of gunshots before everything went silent. I watched as Zoe was pulled out of view and Iago's back took her place. His gun laid next to me, while Bonehead came to pick me up.

"Elisa. Helloo." Bonehead gingerly waved his hand in front of my face. I snapped out of my haze and shoved him aside. I grabbed Iago's gun. _Just in case he's not thinking straight._ I crawled to Iago's side to get a look at the situation, trying to put as little pressure on my right leg as possible. There was a bloody arrow on the ground while Iago had Zoe tucked up in his lap, like every cliché death scene out there. But that wasn't true. It can't be. She's just wounded, like me. She'll make it. I'm sure of it. Yet the way Iago was whispering apologies and disbeliefs into her forehead had my gut churning unpleasantly.

"Hey Zoe, that was pretty fucking badass how you killed that guy," I said, trying to lighten the mood. Though it came out more like a whimper, seeing as I had tears streaming silently down my cheeks. _Jeez you suck at this. She's not dying. Stop it. Stop that right now._

"Thanks," she replied with a weak smile. "That means a lot." It was then that I couldn't take it anymore. I tugged at Bonehead's pant leg, hoping he would understand. He picked up on it pretty fast, and carried me away from the couple, giving them time to be alone. We sat in silence until it was broken by another broken scream from Iago, followed by a long chain of sobs and curses. I whispered a plan to Bonehead and he protested.

"But -"

"No buts. I can do this."

"He should be the one to-"

"No, he shouldn't. It would haunt him forever. Trust me."

"Then I -"

"She died for me. Let me."

Bonehead nodded grimly. He knew there was no point in putting up a fight this time.

"Okay, fine. But be quick, we should get out of here as soon as possible."

He ran up to Iago and tried to pull him up from his kneeled position. Iago wouldn't budge.

"Look, Iago, we HAVE TO GO. Who knows what else is out there ready to pounce on us?"

"Get the fuck off me, Bone! I can save her! And if that means possibly dying with her, that's fine by me."

As the two guys argued and wrestled, I yanked the arrow from my calf. It was made out of the same rough wood that I saw pinned to the cabin. But this arrow did not gleam of steel like the other did. This one had a deformed piece of china on its end. The blood separated itself into clear beads on the china. _Why? The eyes that met mine clearly were pleading. They were pleading for survival. I never planned on hurting them...Why? Why do humans always assume the worst of each other? **We're not the enemy**._ I helped myself up with my three functional limbs and managed to stand still. I tore a relatively clean piece of cloth off my shirt sleeve and wrapped it around the wound. _Just in case of infection_. I then slowly limped toward the commotion, hoping to be of some help.

"Get the fuck away from me! I will kill you," Iago threatened while palming the ground for his gun. _I knew it was a good idea to pick it up._ "Where the fuck is my gun?!" He looked around to observe his surroundings for the first time. Bonehead took this chance to catch him off guard. He dragged him away from Zoe, kicking and swearing.

I looked down at Zoe, observing the bleeding wound in her chest. She couldn't have made it. With pre-apocalyptic medicine, she may have had a chance, but around medicinal idiots like us, there was no chance. It had been the first time since this crazy thing started that I observed a dead body. She looked so peaceful. Iago must have done a great job soothing her as the urge for deep sleep surrounded her mind. Her hair had grown wild since this started, and I recalled her talking about how terrible her hair would be if she never paid attention to it. It looked beautiful, in my opinion, how they started to curl and bounce with her every step. They would stretch out to greater lengths than before, yet somehow still managed to frame her face perfectly, providing more warmth to her smile and strength to her character. Never once did she break the adorable elegance she held within her every move, even as death settled her into her final state - or so we hoped. I couldn't let her turn into something ugly. I wanted to help preserve her state of beauty, for her to die a dignified hero, not a mindless evil.

"I'm sorry Zoe, I hope you're in a better place now," I let the words fall as I pulled her body towards a withering flower garden in the back. "I hope you see your family again, hope you see Norie again. Tell them I said hi. Oh and if you could, give my family a visit too. Tell 'em I miss them a lot." I aligned the gun with her head. "I hope you get to eat all the food you've missed eating, play all the games you've missed playing and sleep in a cozy, warm bed again. I hope everything goes back to normal for you, I hope you'll watch over us." I wrapped my fingers into position. "You were the most hopeful of us all, and I really needed that. Thank you for being there for everyone, for me. I love-" **BANG**. My eyes squeezed shut as the final 'you' slipped from my lips, unheard. It took a few seconds for the ringing in my ears to stop. When I opened my eyes back up, I regretted looking immediately.

I ran as far as my limp would take me before collapsing, gagging near the evergreens. I barely had anything to eat in the past 3 days, so all I managed to cough up was a tiny bit of clear fluid. It only took one glance for the image to be etched into my brain forever. I didn't manage to deliver a clean blow (I was never good with guns), and what resulted was tarnished skin, cracked skull and a splatter of brain matter. It deformed her face into a haunting anger, one that asked me why I would be so cruel to put a bullet in my friend. And honestly, I couldn't think up why anymore, I couldn't remember why. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself while I stood up to limp back to the boys. I don't think I really took another real breath from then on.

I returned to Bonehead sitting on a boulder with an unbreakable, unreadable expression on his face. Iago sat next to him, on the ground - completely defeated. I plopped myself down next to Iago, bruising my shoulder on the boulder as my legs gave out in an asynchronous manner.

"So Zoe's gone?" Iago asked quietly, his voice breaking a bit.

I didn't feel like talking, so I just nodded. I felt like crying. Yet tears were nowhere to be found. So I just stared idly with Iago, him at the ground, me off into the distance. Nothing I was looking at seemed to be taken in. I just sat in a void of darkness, the bloody scene flickering like a cheap jump scare. _I did that. I had the audacity to put a bullet in her head. She was my best friend for goddamn sake. I hate this place. This place where the good die young and the bad stay alive. This place where friendly neighbours turn on you for their own comfort and luxury. This place where suspicion built its kingdom, where mankind turns against their brothers and sisters, because of fear. This place where you kill your best friend because of **fear**. But what for? If this is the place we now live in, why are we fighting to survive? So what if we get to Alaska? It's not about the zombies anymore, it's about the dirty, dirty people. And if we make it to Alaska, so will others. Never again will we get any shut eye, soon enough everyone will turn on everyone. Why would we tr-_

"Ahem," Bonehead cleared his throat to break the silence. "So..." _Tread carefully, no one's in the mood._ "So...are you guys okay?" _It always puzzled me how Bonehead could be so calm through these situations. Did death mean nothing to him? Maybe he just hides it well..I once knew him on a deeper level, he has feelings. But his ability in casting the unwanted ones away were always skills that I envied._

I snapped out of it. "Yeah," I said blankly, still tired with words.

I looked at Iago for the first time since I sat down. Seeing him like that, guilt dawned on me all over again. I noticed that he had been mumbling to himself, probably for some time now. Trying to act casual, I asked, "What'd you say?"

He looked up. "I don't want to play this game anymore."

I knew exactly what he was talking about.

"I thought it was going to be fun, sis."

"I know," I murmured so softly that he probably didn't even catch it.

"It wasn't supposed to end like this, you know?"

"I know..." I said a little louder.

"We were supposed to make it out together, you know?" _I know. I genuinely thought at one point that we had a chance to start over, that if we stayed alive long enough, we would be able to make our own family. I wanted to be there when you guys got married, when you guys made little ones for me to play with. I would have been their Godmother, and I would have helped educate them, since the society's already gone to crap. I thought we would all have **something to live for.**_

"But this is all I get. This is my ending," he said in reply to my silence.

"This isn't the end." As bleak as things looked, we made it through so many deaths, we would inevitably still have to go on. It was my stupid will to live, that one tiny spark of hope that maybe we're just being cynical, that maybe the future holds the happiness and salvation we've been working for. It's the same hope that kept me going all those years while I sat by the window, occasionally thinking how nice it would be to just jump and end it all.

"What?"

"It's not the end. You'll be okay. I know it." I gave his hand a little squeeze and mustered up a smile - or so I think it was one. _We have to keep going. We're carrying all those that died on our shoulders as we travel towards our destination._ "And besides, it's not Asian of me to set my mind on a task and not finish it right?" I tried to make a joke but it fell flat. I went back to sitting in silence, trying to block out all thoughts. But instead, I spent my time watching the flickering scene again, unable to rid myself of the blood soaked guilt.

 

* * *

 

Roughly two days later and back on the highway. We decided that the zombies had all died off around there, so we took our chances and trekked on the well paved road again. We had reached up north enough that there were only little litterings of cars, unlike in the city, where cars jammed up the road, making it hard to navigate. At this point, only Bonehead made occasional comments about the surroundings while Iago would absentmindedly reply. I made groans in response, generally uninterested and tired. Thoughts of the deceased still ran through my head, though I was unable to feel the sorrow anymore. I was just puzzled. _How is it that I'm still alive? Out of all the girls in the start, how is it that **I'm** the one that's left? I've always been the weakest in the group. Maybe this is death's cruel game. Watch them die, one by one, knowing your death would be just as ungraceful. I just hope my remaining "family members" can make it out as painlessly as possible._

My leg barely had time to heal, every thread in the makeshift bandage was soaked. I walked with a heavy limp the first day, wincing with every step. Today, the limp had eased a little with the dissipating pain. Either that or I was used to it already. _It's funny, I'm like a zombie walking with a limp with all this dead air around me. I may as well be dead._

I let out a morbid chuckle. It sounded weird, something I used to do with joy all the time around my friends sounded foreign and dead escaping my lips now.

"What?" Iago snapped.

"It's just funny how I'm limping like a zombie."

"Ha.ha. That's great," Iago said with great sarcasm, turning his gaze back to the road. He was cold, so unlike him. _Remember the time I rolled my ankle and you helped me limp back home? I'm suffering a bigger wound now, but you're too stuck in your world to even laugh at a joke._

"Come on, not even a little laugh?"

In the background, Bonehead suddenly cracked up. He laughed that carefree laugh that he was basically famous for. Some people found it annoying, most people found it awesome and amusing. I found it like a chime of the past. For a few seconds, I felt like everything was going to be completely fine. I followed his lead and laughed. I watched Iago's hardened face crack as his lips started twitching upward. There was a sort of magic in Bonehead's laughter, which made it just that much more precious. It was hard not to laugh when he busted into full blown laughter. I made silly zombie imitations with my limp, helping Bonehead reach full blown laughter. Iago gave in and laughed with us. For the first time since the outbreak, we openly laughed. It was one of the stupid ones where you would laugh for so long that you didn't even remember why or how you started. And it didn't matter because it was just infectious. _I've missed this sound so much_.

"Welcome back, brother," I gave him a much needed hug, perhaps for him, perhaps for myself.

"Thanks, Bone Saw," I gave Bonehead a hug too. He seemed to really appreciate that I used his name for once, but he still pulled away from the hug - just a little.

"Anytime," Bonehead replied. "Now that we're back on talking terms, if you had to have a useless superpower, what would it be?" _This question again. He was like a goldfish with these questions._

"Probably-" Iago and I started at the same time. The boys were walking in front, with Bonehead in the lead, and me staggering behind. Iago turned to look at me.

"Go ahead first," he said, smiling as he finally combed through his sorrow.

"Okay, thanks. I think I would like to have the power to conjure up-"

First, there was a ringing in my ears. Then there was a pain in my gut. Then both Iago and Bonehead had guns pointed at me - no, behind me. Finally, my legs gave out beneath me. A strong smell of iron tainted the air and fear re-entered my system.

"DON'T SHOOT!" I heard from behind me. I waved at the guys.

"Don't...shoot..." I uttered through clenched teeth. _It hurts. It hurts so much_. Their guns were still pointed at the guy behind me, but their grips visibly loosened.

"Why wouldn't we shoot?" Iago yelled back.

"I was just trying to help!"

"With what, you dumb fuck?" Bonehead interrupted.

"I saw a zombie behind you so.."

"THAT'S OUR FRIEND YOU PIECE OF SHIT." _Oh, the irony_.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to.." his voice faded in and out as it began to waver.

"Let him go..." I told them weakly. They looked at me with disbelief.

"Go. Get the fuck away from us now! You're lucky she let you live!" Bonehead yelled.

The man made no gesture to move. Bonehead was too infuriated to listen to me anymore. He ran after the scared man while Iago scooped me up as he did with Zoe just two days ago. Well, except he wasn't whispering. He just stared at me with disbelief.

"Iggly, I'm scared." I used to call him Iggly a lot. It was my equivalent of his 'sis'. But as we grew older, I only used it when I was genuinely scared.

"I know," he told me in a scarily calm, soothing voice.

"Iggly, it hurts," I winced as I took a breath.

"I know.." he kept repeating, rubbing circles on my tummy, as if it would take away the pain.

"Iggly, I'm not ready." _I'm not ready to die. I never will be, you understand that. You understood my irrational fear, you understand that it's what kept me alive._

"I know," he whispered quietly against my forehead. I felt a pool of warmth near my lower back. I figured it was my life leaving me, landing on his already blood stained jeans - settling in with Zoe's blood.

"Iggly, I can't breathe," my breath hitching as I panicked. It seemed that I finally let that breath out.

"You can do it, slow and steady," he calmed his breathing for me to follow.

"Iggly, what if I'm lost forever?"

"You won't be."

"I guess this is the end huh?"

"It isn't. You'll build a life with Zoe on the other side."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

"But what if.."

"You'll be okay."

"Hopefully.." The pain was starting to ease. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. "Iggly, are you going to shoot me?" I looked up at him.

"Probably," he said with a grimace. Immediately, Zoe's face flashed before me. _No. I can't subject anyone to that. I didn't give Zoe the choice, but I have the choice._

"No." I made an attempt to push myself off of him, but it only briefly set him off balance. "I can't unsee Zoe, Iggly. I can't unsee her last moment. So let me save you and Bonehead the misery. Just help me back up. Then run, run until you can't run anymore."

He seemed to understand and gave me a grateful nod before propping me back up. My guts hurt again. I couldn't even feel my legs anymore. But somehow I was standing. Iago gave me a hug and I whispered an "I love you guys, stay safe." I'm not sure if he heard. Then he grabbed Bonehead and ran off, never looking back. I trudged in the opposite direction, hoping to get as far away from them as possible. Thoughts raced through my head as good memories melted with the fear of never experiencing them again. Soon enough, I doubled over again. I had to drag myself across the pavement, moving forward at an excruciatingly slow pace.

 _I wonder how Gabriella's doing...Is she alright? I'd hope she would try and visit them in Alaska eventually. Sam probably will make it to them, seeing as how the superstition finally took **me** down this time._ A part of me wished that I could have let Iggly stay, at least I could go with less fear. Having my thoughts run wild with no one to restrain them, I tortured myself with my own fears. But I couldn't do that to them. I focused all my energy on wishing.  _I wish I could be a stupid zombie, one that will not harm any more innocent people..._ With that, my eyes filled with pressure as static overtook my sight.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! <3
> 
> This is where the dream ended, and where I took over in terms of plot.  
> It works as its own separate piece, but if you want more of their misadventures, the series does continue :P


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